I asked Tom if he had come across one of the partners called John… “Ahhhh”, he exclaimed, “John’s meat trolley!” This was not the response I had expected.

Here we were, date two and emptying our bladders in each other’s company

I didn’t see myself on a date but as a Cumbrian, female version of Louis Theroux, doing my very own research into the secrets of the world of fast food

Let me whisk you away to a land of white sandy beaches, palm trees, and hunky men.

His floppy hair and baggy, trendy-patterned-short-sleeved-button-down shirt didn’t scream serial killer

THE SMOULDERING LOOKS AND WIDE BRIMMED HATS IN HIS PICTURES… SUGGESTED THAT HE WAS GOING TO FIT EVERY STEREOTYPE I COULD MENTALLY CONCOCT OF SOMEONE FROM LA.

FRANCISCO WAS HALF BRAZILIAN AND HALF SWISS BUT HAD GONE TO UNIVERSITY, OR SCHOOL AS HE CALLED IT, IN AMERICA. THAT’S THREE OUT OF THE SEVEN CONTINENTS COVERED IN ONE SENTENCE!

ON A NATIONAL LEVEL I WAS DEVASTATED TO LEAVE THE SINGLE MARKET. ON A PERSONAL LEVEL I AM EVEN MORE DEVASTATED TO BE RE-JOINING IT.